Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Intro 2 - cause essay
It sounded like a great idea at the time: let's run an ATV/snowmobile rental business out of our house. We save on overhead, I get to stay at home, we can work the business around our schedule. Boy, were we wrong. From late customers, broken machines, late night rental inquiries, drop ins and deliveries, running this business out of our home was a drag.
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1 comment:
I like the clear direction of the bridge or preview sentence at the end of this. I also prefer the personal opening to the more general version of intro 1. But both need a little sweetener, a scene, a picture, a story, a quick shot of a typical moment, a horror story, something to tease and hook the reader.
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