Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Example essay - redone

Growing up I didn't have the happiest of childhoods. My mother and I never seemed able to get along, and my brother was spoiled rotten. The bright spot in my life at the time was my grandmother. I loved her more than anyone, and the feeling was mutual. She gave me so much, including her name, Marjorie.

One thing Nana gave me was her time. She worked at the Augusta General Hospital as the head dietician, and every August she would take two weeks of vacation and I would come to stay with her. She would take me to the Capitol Building to see the museum and the state library. We would walk downtown and browse through the shops. She took me to Old Orchard Beach, Storyland, Santa's Village, and Six Gun City. Before I went home Nana would always bring me to the hospital kitchen to show me off. "Is this little Margie?" they'd say. "Hasn't she grown!"

If it wasn't for Nana, I wouldn't have had new clothes for school. She was a seamstress, and made me many outfits on her sewing machine. We would walk to the sewing store and I would pick out the fabric for each new outfit. She would make me pants, tops, skirts and dresses. Then we would go to Kmart to buy shoes and a few pairs of jeans. I couldn't wait to show off my new clothes at school!

Another thing Nana gave me was love. The look in her eyes when she saw me and the fierce bear hug she would give me meant so much. Whenever I had to leave her I would cry for hours. I dreamt of living with her so we would never be apart.

My Nana passed away a few years ago. I miss her terribly, but the memories of her and everything she gave me will stay with me forever.

1 comment:

johngoldfine said...

Three examples of what she gave you? Graf 2 doesn't quite work--it needs a tag or label; it's the graf about time or attention, the way graf 3 is about clothes and graf 4 is about...well, which? Love or gifts?

So, this is close but needs a little tweaking and clarifying still.